Posted by: mew | September 14, 2009

2 left – and 49 down

Sorta sounds like a crossword puzzle; doesn’t it?  It’s not, though.

news_may_08_003I’m just antsy, missing my fix, and found it funny enough to share that the fix I’m missing is not the nicotine.  Nope.  I’m counting the days left until I can resume reading.

Chapter Four of TAW asks us to forego reading for one whole week.  Early on in the week, I realized I couldn’t give up reading a few blogs and e-mails from friends.  (Having developed no social life to speak of here, I’m still surviving on long-distance expressions of solidarity and friendship and vicarious pleasures of listening to others describe outings and get-togethers.  Pitiful, but true.)

However, I’ve managed to keep it up with books and magazines.  If you knew how much I read, you’d realize the removal of books alone has seriously restructured my day.  It was especially hard today.   F. gave me a subscription to an altered arts magazine a few months back, and our mailman, Paul, stood on our porch this afternoon holding a stack of mail with the newest edition sitting on top, looking all amber and golden and autumny (word?) and oh-so-tempting.  (Magazine = tempting.  Paul, not so much.)

(He was checking to see if an envelope had been misaddressed because he didn’t recognize the name.  It was incorrectly addressed, and I somehow love that this is a small enough town that I know my postman by name and that he knows us by name, enough to notice that detail.  He even knows I’m quitting smoking and asked me how it’s going.  Even though the small town thing is also driving me nuts and is a major readjustment, I find some details of this life so quaint and charming.)

If I’d begun on time, my torture — er, exercise in willpower would be done tomorrow night.  But I began late, on Wednesday night.  So that means toughing it out just two more days.  Just like when I first quit smoking, I seem to have so much time on my hands.  All to the good:  I’ve caught up on some correspondence and done some maintenance/household tasks I’d been putting off.  Also prepped nearly the whole vintage book that I bought to turn into an altered vision journal.  So I’m definitely finding uses for all those minutes spent not reading.

Tonight is another non-smoking anniversary.  Actually, every minute of my life now is an ongoing addiction-free anniversary.  At least, that is the way I prefer to think of it.  It will be better one day when I hardly ever think of it.  But for now, I’m turning the heightened awareness of what is *not* there into a feast of celebrations.  In about two hours, I’ll cross the seven week mark.

And I’m definitely suffering cravings tonight.

Oh, God, I want to open a book.

DSCF0371_j

(Photos from Morguefile.  You don’t seriously believe I could get that close to a book right now and merely take a photograph of it; right?)

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Responses

  1. you are doing well! giving up reading blogs and emails was 1. way too hard 2. too much like giving up something for Lent… so I failed on day one..

  2. I managed to go without reading blogs too, Meredith, but I had other less fun distractions taking its place unfortunately. Congratulations on reaching the seven week mark!

  3. Yay you! Seven weeks is amazing.

    Can’t wait to hear how you feel about the reading deprivation once it’s over.


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